The internet crept up on the western world slow enough that no one realised until it was too late. The basis of all zombie movies, it turns out, is not actually zombies hunting for brains, but hunting for wi-fi. People joke about it, but I am fairly certain now, that the internet creates zombies. Zombies are people highly addicted to the internet who can’t get a decent wi-fi signal.
Exhibit A: One of the parks in Cuba where a wi-fi hot spot has just been created to control the zombie population. There are still no home based internet connections, so locals and tourists buy prepaid cards for $2 an hour and head to the park. Once connected, they will bow their heads – this is the sign of a happy zombie.
And in the wee hours, once all of the bars have closed, under lights, the happy zombie keeps its head bowed.
And in the streets, children are able to play safely. Unlike back in Oz, where children will be bitten by zombies if they play on the street.
